id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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