3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
