Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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