just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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