I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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