Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
