I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
