It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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