My pussy is not your playground.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
