i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
