Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Someone signed my nipple.
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