Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
