Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am available for nakedness
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
