Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
