So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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