Can Purell be used as lube?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
