she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
