Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize