Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
