i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
