We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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