You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
