Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
