Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
