Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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