i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
