the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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