Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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