But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
