hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
