yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
