My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
