READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
