Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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