I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
