Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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