Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
