i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
