My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
