Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
