Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was confusing and full of hummus
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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