So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize