I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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