I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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