How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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