Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When are your genitals available?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
