So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
