I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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