I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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