I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
