oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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