I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
