Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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