But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
