awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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