he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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