so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
