So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
