Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize