they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
