I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
