whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
